KG's Interrogation Unit
by VietSensei
Summary: Shikamaru picked up Temari for a mission. Unfortunately, the Sand brothers misunderstood his intention and captured Shikamaru for interrogation Mild ShikaxTema, mostly crack conversations between Gaara, Kankurou and Shikamaru.


**A/N:** This fanfiction is a collaboration between VietXFantasy and Senseikk. The pairing is Shikamaru and Temari, however, the romance is mild due the fact that the story mainly focuses on Gaara and Kankurou. This is a crack fic and should not be taken seriously.

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

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**KG's interrogation unit**

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Shikamaru turned around the left corner of the Sand's castle, but still there was no entrance in sight. He turned back to see that same mile long wall, stretching as far as the eye could see. The once beautiful flowers in his sweaty hands were already wilting under the grilling flares of Suma's sun.

Shikamaru was not exactly lost. He was just in the middle of nowhere, trying to locate the entrance to the Sand's castle. The Sand's castle was literally, a sandcastle, and just happened to be lying in the middle of a blistering desert. He looked at the flowers' petals miserably. It had shriveled up and was drained of all its fresh color. The frustrated genin groaned loudly and threw the flowers to the sand beneath, finally giving up his search.

"Tch… I knew I should have stayed home to watch the clouds instead," he grumbled aloud to no one in particular. The fierce heat hovered above him, forcing sweat out of the lazy nin.

Sand, sand, sand. It was here, it was there. Sand was everywhere! Left sand, right sand. Miles from where he was standing… sand! Even the castle next to him was made of sand. How can Temari stand living in such a dry and hostile environment was beyond Shikamaru.

Shikamaru leaned against the castle wall lazily to take cover in its three inches of precious shade. However, the wall was not as solid as it looked. After thirty seconds or so, he discovered himself sinking into the sandy wall. A discovery a bit too late for him to escape.

"What the f-…" Shikamaru started, but sand quickly rained over him.

Shikamaru struggled to free himself from the enchanted wall but the sand kept on pulling him further in. He was soon entirely swallowed by the wall beast. After a few moments of breathing in sand, he was rudely spitted out on the other side like an unwanted rag doll. He was now inside the castle.

Shikamaru was down on his knees, coughing up all the sand that he swallowed.

"Is this their way of a warm welcome? When was this man-eating walls installed?" He gagged and cleaned the sand off himself.

"Hey you, boy!" came a voice. Shikamaru turned around to see a huge man wearing armors advancing toward him.

"You talking to me?" Shikamaru asked.

"No I'm talking to the wall behind you dumbass," the guard replied sarcastically, waving the sharp spear in his hand at Shikamaru. "State your name and business, young man."

"I'm here to pick up Princess Temari for a… um… date. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I'm going home now. Seeing how you greet people, I can't imagine what I have to go through to get to her room. I bet you guys got dragons guarding her door or something."

"How did you know!?" the guard looked at him incredulously. "That's top secret information here. Anyway, I still need your name before you can leave. The heads want a report on everything, no exceptions."

Shikamaru nodded lazily. Why does it even matter? He was going home free in a few minutes. He stated his name with a bored tone.

"Nara Shikamaru." The guard quickly scribbled it down.

"Nara…Shika…maru… Hey, that name sounds familiar. Sounds like the guy I'm suppose to bring to the boss. Hmm, let's see…" The guard pulled out from his armor a pair of glasses as well as a picture. He slipped on the glasses and made quick glances from the photo in his hand to Shikamaru.

Shikamaru could feel a funny rumble at the bottom of his stomach. He took it as a bad sign.

"Alright," The guard put away the photo and looked at Shikamaru square in the eyes. "Will you please follow me, Mr. Nara?"

At that moment, Shikamaru realized that he was not going anywhere outside the castle for the rest of the day.

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"Ummm… Are handcuffs necessary?" questioned the Konoha genius. He was being dragged through a cold and murky stone corridor that was perhaps way way below sea level for it was penetrated with chill and led only deeper and further below. Shikamaru's head screamed "torture chamber," but he shook away the uncomfortable feeling.

The two guards that were dragging him by the arms just nodded. They weren't all that talkative, noted Shikamaru.

"Do you like chocolate or vanilla?" No answer came from the guards. Perhaps that was a bit too childish of a question. Time for a more serious subject,

"Which is better, Coke or Pepsi?" Still silence. Nevermind, thought the genius. It was so silent that you can figuratively hear the crickets chirp and how its echoes against the walls.

"Can you at least tell me where you're taking me?"

One of the guards chuckled. He simply said two words, "Torture chamber," and that was more than enough to send electric jolts down Shikamaru's body. He wished he never accept Temari's so called 'date'.

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To be continue…


End file.
